You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
