thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
