What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
