they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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