I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
