I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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