Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
