Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize