i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
