i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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