Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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