The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
