I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
