i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize