my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
