Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
