i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
