I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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