theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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