Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
