Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
