Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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