he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
