Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize