I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize