Do you still have your period?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
