I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
