sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
