im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
