Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
