May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
