Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
