Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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