I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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