this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
