One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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