So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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