Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize