New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
