How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dear god my vagina.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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