I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
