you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
