She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize