Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
