hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
