When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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