Jerry, you need to find god
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
