I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
