Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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