God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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