Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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