I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
