I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dear god my vagina.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
