i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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