How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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