Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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