Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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