i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize