He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
