Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
