My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
