i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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