Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
