I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
