brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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