But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no, he came in my armpit
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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