with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he thought i was a dude.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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