i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize