I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Randomize
