it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
