Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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