tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
