I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
