I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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