Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
