Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
