friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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